Lost in Transition

I am feeling -okay - ready to leave. This place has served me well, assuredly, but euh - I can't wait to pack up. Sorry. I don't know why I feel so apologetic and yet simultaneously unremorseful.

I have loved living with mon frere, but it's made me socially dependent upon him and hence: I have no friends. Not really. That's fine. And this summer has been kinda hard, so this place is oozing with representation of the little difficulties I've traversed while here. And mostly, I've just felt like a guest thoughout my duration. Yesterday at church the second counselor came up to Jeff and our visiting parents and after expressing his joy at meeting them, he turned to me and asked if I was his sister. Jeff responded by saying that I was, and that he should already know me considering I've been in the ward three and a half months. He too seemed unremorseful.

I'm in transition. That's fine. I can deal with it. But tonight I was really struggling with not knowing where I was headed. Once I figure that out, even if it's hard, I've got somethin' to do, somethin' to work with. When you got nothin' where is there to go?

Anyway, these are indeed the deep deep thoughts that plague/enlighten/persist while at the wilkinson center at two in the morning.

Good-ness, I canNOT sleep as late as I did today. Because when ya sleep six hours until 8:30 at night, it's tough to get back to bed. Oh the late night rants of a silly teenager.

By the way, I'm only going to be a teenager for another three and half months. Then, never again.