what to do when one's down

Sometimes it's almost laughable how bouncy my moods are sometimes. Usually when I'm feeling the most joyful is when I should expect the biggest crash. But to avoid this in the future, I've made up a little list of what to do to drag myself from the dregs:

1. put on some classical music

2. clean up my room

3. go to bed

4. take a shower/at least splash some water on my face

5. don't dilly-dally/graze!

6. change my attitude, I'm convinced that one's happiness is a matter of choice. I confess that sometimes I don't always make the right choice, but just knowing that it is makes it all better. I was talking to Rachel - my lovely redheaded coworker - who is very soon to be married, and she told me that she and her husband are not going to fight, they had decided. Granted, they would disagree, but never fight. And after making this known, and being shot down by some pessimist, a little old lady came up to her and told her that she and "ron" hadn't fought in forty years - it's not worth it to get angry over a little thing like socks on the floor.

That's one thing that just amazes me about the human race: we have the choice. We can choose our mood, and our opinion, and just by thinking it the whole world can flip upside-down . . . or right-side up in this case. How grateful I am to have that. 

to do before paris

It's getting closer to that time . . . what - nine weeks from thursday until I fly out huh? I've felt more in countdown mode as of late. And every time I consider how (un)excited I've been, I think about Millie - my junior year of high school when my competition for the lead in the school play accused me of not deserving the part, not because of my lack of talent (believe me, the skills were definitely there) but because I wasn't passionate, I wasn't excited, I didn't want it as badly as she did. Well I did want it, but precisely for her consideration did I not show my excitement, and whenever I did show inclinations of pleasure, I was considered haughty.

I don't know what my excuse for my trailing enthusiasm currently is. But who cares? Sometimes, at select moments, I can hardly breathe I'm so excited. I don't think I really believe it. All the blank digits where my money used to be have simply slithered away to pay off some gimick, and are meant to teach me a lesson. But no. No no no no. It is being put away to burst forth in all its glory with shimmering brilliance to enlighten and uplift and to dazzle . . . starting nine weeks from thursday.

and so

1. go through my facebook friends . . . and hack

2. make my journal

3. buy a camera (i got dangerously close today. on ebay i had six minutes left - $270 for two lenses and body of an xt. but i got outbid. boo.)

4. make enough money.

5. think through tentative packing list

6. watch french movies.

that's all I've got this far.