"Pregnancy for Dummies."

Should there be such a book? I realize that's just the nature of the thing, but it made me anxious. Should dummies be raising children? What will the world come to?! Anyway, there's that.

you're i's are too close together.

the elevators

I just read 5 things to discuss before you get married. 

• money
• religion
• sex
• goals
• children

I agree. And yet, a friend and I were discussing the other night that we don't consider ourselves "single" . . . per se. It's like (genius analogy, get ready) being unemployed. If you're not looking for a job, you're not unemployed, you're just . . . not I guess. Yup, there. Although I was reading Princess Academy (work is slow) and she's 14 and all in love with Peder. I must have been stunted for my age, I was not feelin' what she says she's feelin'. I guess I'll just have to be ok with that.

Sometimes the idea of ben button feels more prevalent than ever. Like, I was older than everybody when they were filled with reckless desire, and now we've switched. Rest assured, I'm keeping my clothes on, but I guess I just never understood. Now I am able to - if not relate- then at least understand why it was that Lindsey Harvey was so passionate about Fritz Zar in the 6th grade that she felt the need to carve and "F" into flesh but . . . actually no, I still don't understand why she would do such a thing. Anyway, what I mean is that I guess I don't know where I meant to take this, but oh well. 

And here's a little sunshine to brighten your day. 

Utah Breast Augmentation

Practically pain-free rapid recovery - Go out the same day enjoying yourself with “just the right curves”. Be back to work in 24-48 Hrs

*Note the "practically pain free."

   

"Oh YES!"

Indeed, what a shift. The past 24 hours have been a little all over the place. But, I have some happier alternatives to yesterday

-You tell your boss about going to Paris, and not only is she NOT angry, but she is thrilled for you!!! (how i love maureen)

-You call up your silly credit card company and they lift the late fee charge (because of your good credit, and their dumb rules)

-You call up several companies to cancel any opportunity they may have of ever charging you for really ridiculous and never-present services

-You find out that the study abroad program costs a few hundred dollars less than anticipated (i know, score)

-You passed the cleaning check you got up at 6am for, and were nervous for all day you'd have to pay for a recheck.

-You know that in a few hours, you'll be returning home to your lovely pink house and dear ones!

image via 365

Oh crap

Excuse me, I can't help the natural (wo)man in me. But do you ever have those moments where that is all that you can say? Unfortunately for me, is a bit of a reflex, like a jerking knee, this reaction follows a corresponding stimulus. 

Let's consider the possible stimuli:

-following someone on a bike (when it's still a very fresh concept) and you thought you were going straight but the person you're following turns rights and you end up continuing straight rather embarrassingly. 

"oh crap"

-checking your billing statement and finding out that they've laid a late fee on ya' when you're paying on the day the payment's due. go figure, or . . .

"oh crap"

-realizing you didn't quite put in enough money in your checking account and that your freebee draft fee is already used up.

"oh crap"

-knowing deep down that you're eventually going to have to tell your boss that you're not in fact going to be here in the fall like you said  -yeah-sure-maybe i might-be at the interview.

"oh crap"

-going to take out your contacts and realizing that the right one magically popped out of your eye, and that's why you've kinda been seeing blurrily all day.

"oh crap"

Well, I seem to have exhausted my list at this point. I promise I'm not an irresponsible loser (well, perhaps i shouldn't actually promise that, but i'm pretty sure.) I just . . . am a normal person with normal dumb problems, and happen to react maybe not as well as I should. Well. the next post will indeed be happier.