I have been pondering as of late, what purpose this blog serves. I've admittedly had mixed motivations, ranging from the most selfish to the absolute selfless. At the heart of the matter, I realize that there are so many individuals who I admire and adore. They seem to emit this effervescent passion for life, and they have such a depth to them, that the average person does not possess. These people {mostly women} blow me away, and I long to adopt their beautiful ways, but sometimes I go about it the wrong way-from the outside in. I realize that all of these women who I look up to so, have discovered who they are, and are drawing from that knowledge, whereas I try to draw things and then stuff them into me, and make them a part of who I am. It becomes quite frustrating.

What's more is that I admire pieces of so many people, and try {mostly unsuccessfully} to become a massive conglomeration of these bits. Thus it appears that I am a mish-mash of absolutely nobody.

This whole blogging-motivation/purpose is a small specimen of a bigger issue, one that I hope this year of magical thinking will eventually work out.

*Rachel