NOTE: Written at the end of last year-at the end of April-ish

When I was a little girl, I had the cliche dream of being prom queen and being the most popular girl who is often portrayed in the movies: a modern day princess. She always wears cute clothes and shops at the mall, and everybody wants to be just like her. Well I'm done with cliches-who needs them? Nowadays, everybody is trying so hard to be like everybody else, that the "popular" are no longer unique. Not only does everyone want to be the "dream girl," but now everyone has access to it. . Just go to the local mall and you'll see.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not some fashion-hater, and I do care a lot about clothes, but there's something about the mall that makes me want to cry., Truly, the last time I went to the mall, going only in select stores, looking for a a Sunday Easter Dress, and enduring thoroughly unsuccessful, I walked thorough the automatic doors of Macy's and tears streamed out of my eyes. Frankly, I couldn't quite pinpoint the origin of those tears. And though I often lament the materialistic consumerism of this modern era, I don't believe that's what it was.
On a youth activity, we visited a house in the next city, and a couple of girls realized that we had passed the mall, they began to swoon and sigh lamenting that " ohhh, we passed the mall" and "Ohhh I loove the mall." Aaaaah! They're 12 years old for heaven's sake. My children will sew their own clothes before they go tot the mall for pleasure. Necessity sometimes calls fro certain extreme actions, but when you go there to hang out on a Friday night-my gosh there is more to life!
Now, when looking for a prom dress, I can only imagine that the mall would be a little more busy. (I wouldn't know first-hand) and perhaps the excess mall frenzy contributes to my animosity towards prom. I'll confess, I'm currently anti. Granted, prom came at kind of a rough time for me. Girls spend countless hours, and endless dollars on an event that lasts 4 hours. Okay-I know that prom is more the "experience" than the actual dance. Not for me. I am all for trimming my nails, throwing up my hair, and slipping into a vintage dress-GASP!!! Scandalous!! You have to have the prom experience-you're missing out on so much, Oh my gosh! Come on. Who decides what I do and don't have to have? If spending less money and focusing on other things is scandalous-Bring it on! Okay-truth: I don't mind getting my nails done and buying a pretty dress. But it's the individuals who thing that prom is the highlight of their life that drive me crazy. Please don't misunderstand me, I love those girls who proclaimed their devotion that night to the epicenter of materialism, but I would not love them to grow up and maintain that devotion above the pursuit of personal and intellectual excellence.
It comes down to a matter of priority. Like I've previously confessed, I like clothes, furniture, jewelery-it's true! But more importantly, though I enjoy Marc Jacobs, Urban Outfitters, and Pottery Barn, I will forever admire Jane Austen, the Huntington Museum and the National Geographic. My problem is priority. There are some essential s that so many individuals completely miss out on. That is beyond sad. It is bleak and morose.
In my heart of hearts, there's a suspension-after a deep sigh. I've got to pull away any preachy facade and look at my raw motivations. I think there is an inner yearning to return to that long lost dream of before, to be that irl who everybody wants to be like; the prom queen hottie who walks down the hall and with a flip of her hair, all the boys turn. I've struggled with the separation from that dream. But once I get past that, and brush off my cynically raised eyebrow, the most sincere core of my soul (wow) just wants to be happy and accepted. There are some things that make me crazy, but I know what my priorities are, and where I want to go. It's now a matter of getting there.