I'm . . . bleh

I am just not feeling amazing today. First of all, there is not being able to stay home like I sooooo wanted. Okay, I do everything (alright nearly) that mom and dad ask me to do-I've given up Seuss for heaven's sake, and yet, when I provide a rational and plausible plan that everyone would be content with, Dad shoots it down. What is that anyway, It's not even dad's family and he thinks that it is his right to just pass out orders. Plus, he's criticizing mom, which is a ridiculous thing to do, she's doing great. Why can't he just bring up the issues with either Sarah and/or I, instead of carping to mom.
What gets me even more worked up is that we are reading this self-help book about relationships. Chapter 1: do not criticize, condemn, or some other "C" that is not as applicable. He was so excited about this book, and it seems to me that he is not even listening to it. Golleey.
I just don't want to be miserable this weekend, and then have missed so many fun, amazing things that I have been looking forward to. Seriously, these are the kinds of weekends that I dream about . . . literally. I just don't know why dad can't see that. It's father's day on sunday, and it is going to be extremely difficult to write a card that says something that is not very nice, which I will choose not to publish on this public whatever.
Mostly, I'm just sad, not truly angry nor rebellious, just sad that my hopes were utterly dashed. I have never been so adamant about anything, and I want mom and dad to know that this is something very important to me.
It's flippin' hot too, and I feel like crappolla; my head aches, and I'm super sweaty, and I really don't know what part I will get in Steppin' out. I was hilarious as Mrs. Fraser, which is really a bummer because I DO NOT want that part, but Mavis should go to Stephanie cause I already got a lead. I should just not do it. I want to be done. I want to go to Arizona so that I can stop thinking about all that I am missing here. Isn't there a ward family to consider. I hate myself for thinking all of this, but not really-I can't help it.
I know that it's okay that I am going and not staying, and I won't die, but I feel like it. Didn't dad ever feel the way I'm feeling now?
I really just feel bleh . . .